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John | 23rd Jul 2011, 09:13 AM | HKDSE英文科Paper 3 | (4018 Reads)
How to Pass HKDSE English with Flying Colours Paper 3 Skills 7輯。(This post is a revised version of my previous entry HKDSE 如何寫公事電郵──An email to follow up an underpayment.)

 

Following is a typical question of Paper 3 Section 1. 

Complete the email below, using the information from pages 3, 7 and 9 of your Data File. 

Dear Lolita,

 I am writing about ____________________________________________________

Data File (page 3)

Email from Eason Chan, personnel manager, to Cecilia Cheung, personnel officer

To: Cecilia Cheung (email address)

From: Eason Chan (email address) 

Email to the Accounting Department

The Accounting Department seems to have made a mistake in payment to a part-time actor. I attach the relevant email from my secretary. Please could you do the following:

l   Check with the ‘Part-Time Actor Payment of Salary and Expenses Rules (Data File有相同的字眼,易找) and the personal details of the part-time actor in the personnel file (Data File有相同的字眼,易找);

l   Write to Lolita of the Accounting Department and advise her of the details (details指正確的薪金和車費計算方法);

l   Point out the correct rate of payment (這幾個字可抄) per performance, but let the Accounting Department make the calculations; and

l   Begin your email with the reason for writing and end with something like ‘kindly follow up on the matter’(這幾個字可抄).

Data File (page 7)

Email about phone message

Hi Eason,

I received a phone call from a part-time actor named David (這個字是clue,下文有Davidpersonnel details). He claimed that he had not been paid for acting in our drama Damnable Education (注意,這句裡的acting in our drama是要寫的the reason for writing the email之一). Instead, he was only paid $72 in travel expenses reimbursement (i.e. $6 per performance)(可抄). The amount apparently does not cover even his MTR fare. He wants to know the details as soon as possible.

Data File (page 9)

Extracts from the personnel file

Part-Time Actor Payment of Salary and Expenses Rules

4.2 A part-time drama actor shall be entitled to travel expenses reimbursement (可抄) if the cost of travel from his/her place of residence to the theatre and back is greater than $6.4.3 A part-time drama actor who acts in a drama shall be paid at the rate of $400 per performance.(這要寫)

Personal details of part-time performers

David Lam

Flat A, 3rd Floor, 19 Hai Tan Street, Kwun Tong (Kwun Tong 是找出要付多少車費的線索)

Data File (page 9)

Extract from MTR fare table (你要找出正確車費,你已從上文得知DavidKwun Tong出發,但怎知目的地是Mongkok? 你現在仍不知,要看下文,然後再回到這個表。Data File 故意將資料的次序倒亂安排,為你製造難度。)

Sheung WanMongkokPo Lam
Prince Edward10.54.08.5
Kwun Tong11.57.56.0
Tiu Keng Ling11.58.55.0

Data File (page 9)

Extract from directions sent to part-time performers

The nearest MTR station is Mongkok. (Mongkok是線索,加上你從上文知道David Lam家住官塘,表示港鐵車費是between Mongkok and Kwun Tong)

For Embankment Road, take red minibus no. 12 from outside station – fare $4.00 (即是說到了Mongkok要搭接駁小巴,要寫進電郵的)

Answer

Dear Lolita,

I am writing about David, a part-time actor (1 mark) of our drama Damnable Education. He phoned us claiming that he has not been paid what he thought he would be (what he was entitled to亦可) (1 mark), since he was only paid $72 in travel expenses reimbursement (i.e. $6 per performance) (抄的)(1 mark). (以上是要求的reasons) 

David lives in Kwun Tong (1 mark). The MTR fare for travelling from Kwun Tong to Mongkok is $6.50, and the minibus fare for travelling from Mongkok MTR Station to our theatre is $4.00. Therefore, for return journey between Kwun Tong and our theatre, the correct rate of payment (抄的) of the travel expenses per performance should be ($7.50 + $4.00) x 2 = $23 (1 mark).(這段的主要結構是the fare for travelling between,是要求的details) 

(上一段有另一簡短寫法,你會得到相同的兩分:David lives in Kwun Tong, and is entitled to return fare reimbursement of $23 per performance.) 

Besides, under the Part-Time Actor Payment of Salary and Expenses Rules, (最好抄出全稱,若只寫under our regulations,對方可以質疑是哪條regulation) the correct rate of payment which David should receive for acting in the drama should be $400 per performance (抄的)(1 mark) 

Kindly follow up on the matter (1 mark). 

Regards, 

David

For this question, there are 7 marks for content (as shown above)3 marks for language (correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation);  2 marks for coherence (good organization, use of linking words such as besides, therefore, lastly), and 2 marks for conciseness (Do you copy indiscriminately? Can you use your own words? ).

This sample is intended to show you how to (i) attend to every point in the question; (ii) find information from the Data File; (iii) organize information as per the instructions; and (iv) identify what should be copied and what not. 

 

不要期望用應試技術來改變考試成績以至改變人生,只能期望用應試技巧來更好地發揮你努力學到的成果。人生啦?從來不簡單,那最少是對自己的承諾和對他人的責任,是比考試更艱巨的歷程和體驗,只有愉悅、健康的人可以負擔。

 

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